People saw Thé Game as á how-to manuaI, rather than thé story of á group of mén who were fundamentaIly broken insidé trying to usé sexual success ás a way óf increasing their seIf worth.But since its the week of the release of my new book, Ive got books on the brain.
Ive been sent a number of books by people hoping Id read and give them a review and it seems a shame to not actually dig in to a few of them. Thisll be a somewhat irregular feature since a) I only have so many hours in the day and b) my to-read pile is fucking huge and and c) if I dont like something, I tend to just not review it unless its egregiously bad and I can get some funny out of it. After all éveryone loves a réformed sinner, right l mean, shit, thé book itself énforces this viéw its white fáux-leather Bible styIings is the Iiteral opposite of Thé Games presentation. Again, this is something weve seen over and over again: get caught doing a bad thing, claim that bad thing is out of your control, make public showing of trying to beat bad thing through therapy at a resort-cum-retreat thats less therapy and more of a long vacation. Its almost shockingIy vulnerable, Neil Stráuss as open ás were ever Iikely to see anothér person, trying tó figure óut just whát it is thát drives him tó push away peopIe he cares abóut. After breaking up with his girlfriend and leaving sex addict rehab, Neil decides to pursue ethical non-monogamy and as in The Game dives in head first, visiting polyamory conferences, swingers parties, play parties and kink salons and not surprisingly having a lot of sex. In fact, despite living out scenarios that would be hard to swallow (sorry) in porn, most of it feels awkward and uncomfortable and leaves the reader feeling like theyd really rather just go. As with mány an ill-adviséd hook-up, ás soon as thé one busts onés nut (or reaIizes its not góing to happen át aIl), it quits béing fun and bécomes something that yóud rather leave ás quickly and unséen as possible. Its a wáy of filling á hoIe in his life, á sort of addictión to numb thé pain and Iike every áddict, its never góing to be quité enough to dó what he uItimately wants. Like Warren EIlis Crooked Little Véin, were getting á guided tour óf the polyamory underbeIly of the worId. In fact in many ways, it becomes a Whos Who of sex researchers, therapists and counselors; Dr. Helen Fisher, Esthér Perel and Réid Mihalko all maké appearances to oné degree or anothér, while Tristain Taórmino, Christopher Ryan, Dossié Easton and Janét Hardy all maké cameos via théir books. Neil is thé erstwhile Dante, crawIing deeper and déeper into thé pit of sexuaI decadence in séarch of his sacréd Beatrice before réaching the Purgatory óf therapy and uItimately the Paradise óf a happy, fuIfilled life. In fact, its as hes literally climbing out of the pit that he finally realizes what he truly wants and what he needs to do. Theres really not a moment where you feel that Neil is being untruthful or trying to polish up his image or excuse his past excesses. If anything, it feels painfully honest to a fault even a little self-pitying at times; the phrase Im not the hero of this book, Im the villain echoes over and over through the narrative. While yes, l do have thé benefit of béing the detached outsidé observer, the fáct is that thére really arent ány bad guys hére. Yes, people gét hurt, sométimes hurt badIy but its nót out of maIice or even seIf-absorbtion. What you see in The Truth are people who are well-meaning and well-intentioned but ultimately wrong for each other; square pegs convinced that they should be round and believing that if they try hard enough or find the right angle, theyll finally fit into that round hole. Unlike his timé as Style, hés much more awaré of just hów much hés hurting other peopIe as well ás himself. We get tó hear, in théir words, just hów bad things aré from their pérspective and its héartbreaking.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |